feel free to be opinionated

hello livejournal. no i didn't delete thee.

2010-01-02T03:55:55Z

it's been months since i've posted. with a myspace and a facebook and a twitter (which i deleted with huuuuge enthusiasm) i am overwhelmed by online postings. i hardly find enough time to pee.(true i hold it for hours)(which i know is bad, but whatev. haha) so this may or maynot be my one posting of the year. i hardly doubt anyone reads this anyway. lets see okay. my year in a nutshell. the beginning sucked. i will admitt. i got promoted to store manager at the boardman store. but i couldn't take the drive so i'm back in canton since march. i started off the year still sharing a place with hally. we actually made pretty good room mates but i was excited to move back into a place with karl. Yep we bought a house! we live in Akron and we love it. i'm skipping around alot. okay so back to me.we bought our house in july . it took 5 months becuase we bough a 100,000 dollar home for a little over 50,000. folks! just a quick side note, short sale does not equal the length of time it takes to close on a house. thats for sure! but patience pulled off and we are loving our home. minus a ghost here and there. and even that has been comical at times. but seriously. and not so much at others. hah. also this year my dad moved from south carolina to washington state. so so sad. but his choice to be closer to his mom. i guess that would make her my grandmother. but i've met other grandmothers and well i feel jipped! tim is back from san fran. brian is living on his own with tim.A . hally bought a house as well. emily is in third grade. kaiden is in head start. we have a petting zoo in our house. i got a cha hua hua for emily for xmas. her name is mia. she is beautiful. karl couldn't stand to be patient in the training process and made me find her a home. emily took her. so i know she will be just fine. karl is eternally kissing my ass for making me spend my new years crying. lets see...ohhhh biggest news. i got engaged. our wedding is oct.30th. fun fun details to come! or an elopement. haha lets cross our fingers for elopement. karl wants a wedding i want to just run away. i quit smoking in march. karl quit smoking almost 2 years ago.lots healthier for us and the kiddos. he loses weight eating cookie dough. i dream of smelling cookie dough and not gaining weight(random fact:) xmas was amazing. kaiden and emily got sppppoiled. i got sppoiled and karl got jipped i think. not my fault he went waaaaaaaaayyyy over the limit we set. why set limits? dont ask him.he got me a plane ticket to go home to colorado as an extra suprise gift. i cried. okay i cant talk about myself anymore. love ya bitches. i hope 2009 was all you dreamed!! xoxoxox muuuuaaah

13 weeks!

2009-04-28T16:12:39Z

since i've updated...and i'm gonna lay it all out.:)
doesn't seam like that long. lets see..what i have as far as an update can go. okay..most important..(as ladonya says it in her color purple accent) IZA GETTIN MAAARRRIED. karl asked me to marry him . on his birthday at the resteraunt where we had our very first date. it was cute and the ring is gorgeous ladies. it's a one of a kind. that he had made. he also took part in the crafting of the diamond. so not only is it beautiful but it's very sweet and sentimental. i guess he asked my dad back in december and hally has known since october. she said it was the hardest thing keeping it a secret. especially when i would say things like "it's never going to happen". you know how we get. (us girls) :) so now it's just plan plan plan. and i love it. our engagement party is set for june 7th. invitations and all will be sent out probably about 2 weeks in advance. we'll probaby email alot of them. it's just easier.

We bought a house. it's outside of Akron. Karl was very apprehensive about even looking in Akron. (you know how those jackson boys can be. anything outside of jackson is the ghetto) anyhoo...we are buying and i'm excited. i would like a bigger yard. but the house has alot of potential to be amazing. i like the neighborhood too. its like a cute little highland square. and i know karl would NEVER go for highland square. so we live in highland hills..haha. it's close enough to both our jobs. so we dont have to worry about to far of a commute. which is nice. in this economy your lucky just to have a job.

oh and shoot me!! i want another baby!. but lucky for us we cant have anymore. but we would have the room now!!
okay so here is some other stuff going on in the future.
may 15,16th and 17th i'm going to indiana and chicago. my freind jamie smith is getting married so i'm going up there for 3 days.
june 6th my daddy will be here from s. carolina
june 7th is my engagement party .
june 8th he is taking emily ,kaiden and hallys daughter brooklyn for 2 weeks!! oh and
june 7th through 13th i'm on vacation...oh and i'm roadtrippin it to boston!!
then the storm clears and then on
july 26th i'm going to colorado for a week!! ten year reunion baby!!
and then it's serious planning on this wedding.
some shows i'm going to
well besides the fact that our show at the cleveland h.o.b got canceled tonight:( which means no hypercrush*:( *:( double sad face.
electric six may 8th at the grog.
NKTOB in june.
possibly warped tour. we're debating. because i want to see flogging molly but i have never had all that much fun sweating all day at warped before. and i already saw them in february.
so the summer should be busy but can always be busier so def. hit me up and lets make some plans to do some rawkin on the river or somethin...oh and def i'll be doing a wine tasting tour with hally next week!! i love amish country. almost as much as i love their woman and wine...hahahah
june 8

my mood today:)

2009-01-27T03:49:07Z

I AM TOO POSITIVE TO BE DOUBTFUL.

TOO OPTIMISTIC TO BE FEARFUL.

AND TOO DETERMINED TO BE DEFEATED!!

it is what it is

2007-09-05T14:36:44Z

i'm sad today.

b*cause

2007-08-12T12:57:31Z

i hardy write in my journal anymore. probably because there are so many outlets online for me to take my agressions out on. i am bored with lj. but not bored of reading others entries. jessica is really the only one writes anymore. even steph who would post multiples time in a day had slacked on her lj. and where the fuck is kayla!! huh kayla..where the fuck are you? haha..
i am leaving for chi town today.
see you in all in a week. if i have time i will be on. lurking . reading your shit. however i doubt i will post.
i am lazy
i am out
xoxoxoxo

boring boring boring

2007-07-24T16:51:46Z

i have no drama in my life right now. which is a good thing. maybe just maybe. i'm finally becoming an adult. trivial little mishaps just aren't that big of a deal anymore.
last night i called a couple friends to catch up. i've decided that i'm no longer going to persue a friendship with lisa anymore. it's always up and down up and down and hardly back to up. i have to constantly walk on eggshells with her. i love her to death. dont get me wrong. she can be one of the most fabulous ppl i have ever met. but she's an infection sometimes and i no longer want my life to be infectious. i guess since i care to much about certain aspects of her life. and i'm a friend who is not always going to tell you what you want to hear. i'm a lecturer. so apparently thats why she probably dosn't talk to me anymore. so i hung up on her. goodbye. i'm done. chapter closed. for now.
karl kaiden and myself are going to chicago on aug.10th. to pick up emily. i need a vacation. and i really need my jeanette. god how i miss her!
went out with the girls on saturday night for kaylas bday. had a blast. met some cool ppl. didn't care much for the girl that came to breakfast with her cousin joe. a little (very)opinionated for my liking. and damn that girl never shuts up!
all in all. didn't get kicked out of denny's had a blast at on tap. it was a fun night.
karl is good . em is good. kaiden is good. myself fabulous.
xoxoxoxox

glorious!!

2007-07-07T13:25:39Z

EISLEY has a new album coming out AUGUST 14th. i'm sooooo excited i've heard samples of it and it's amazing!
the only thing that makes me a little sad is that if i want to see them on their first 4 month tour i will have to go to chicago on aug.7th. and i'm already going aug.10th. descisions... discisions...descisions....
i really need to get my hands on a sneak preview of this album. but i will be in the stores on the 14th to buy it. they put so much work and so much emotion into thier writings. they are one of the few bands i can think of right now that are worthy of my 12 dollars.
i'm super excited that not only is the 14th the day emily comes home but now we will have some sweet music to listen to on the drive home!!!!!!
i'm now in love with august 14th
xoxoxox

i've had it with retards this week!!! FOR REAL

2007-06-14T03:56:28Z

i've basically fukkin had it with people this week. it seams that everyone i come into contact with is a fukkin douche..does no one believe in karma anymore? do people seriously think they can fukkin get away with being god damn idiots and i'm just gonna be like. wow you must be having a moment...nooooo FUCK THAT!!. seriously i'm gonna snap on the next fukkin retard that opens their mouth and fuking spits out lies to cover their own ass. this has happened like 3 times to me this week. and pretty soon i'm going to start taping shit.

k needed to vent . seriously!!!

i'm going to cleveland tomorrow for a managers meeting...which means!!!!?
FREEEEEEEEEE STUFF!!
basically it's like this
AMANDA GOES TO MEETING= AMANDA GETS NEW VIBRATOR!!
i know ...i know....lucky bitch!!

i'm scared because my boss says i have to eat pizza tomorrow:( sorry cant do it. i cant force myself to do it. if i eat pizza i will barf it up. no joke i seriously will. so i'm not going to.

i have lost another 8lbs. only 40 more to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! though i wonder how i'm losing so much weight. and i seriously need to tone up. my arms are discusting and so are my thighs. and my butt...okay so i dont feel any thinner ...yet......the scale says sooooo.
i'm trying so hard.

i'm tired . i need sleep. night bitches!!
peace and love
xoxoxoxoxo

my kunta

2007-06-01T05:04:59Z

so i'm sitting here on my comp. typing away and i look over at karl..and he looks at me directly the eyes. and says " wow..you really are beautifull!" what a frikken dollll...

i'm pretty much thinking that right now i've got the sweetest man alive .
i love him

gerber daisies cure craziness

2007-05-30T02:54:55Z

I had the worst anxiety atack ever today :( i guess the stress of life and all the things that go with it finally caught up with me. i called my dad and he was really worried about me so he sent my sister over. and he was right as usual. having her around really helped me not to focus on myself. sad how hearing other peoples problems can make you feel better.
i had to work today. and for the first time i didn't want to go. not that i didnt' want to go to my job. just that i wasn't motivated to leave the house. but it was good for me. i texted karl and told him it would make my night if he came to see me. and it did. i saw him walk in with his big huge i could rid the world of poverty with my smile and i was ecstatic to see him. yet i was even more thrilled when i looked down by his side and he had brought me the most beautifull arrangement of gerber daisies. regular daisies and roses. sometimes i wonder how i got so lucky. *note to self** ( read this entry later when he pisses you off) hah
Emily's last day of school is thursday. then the following week she leaves for her dads. I cant beleive how fast this year has gone by. and i cant beleive she'll be gone the entire summer. and she'll come back and she'll be a first grader. I HAVE A FIRST GRADER!!...okay now i feel old once again
Kaiden has descided that his new favorite word is SHIT he says it all day long. i try to ignore it hoping that my lack of interest will make him lose interest. but he only says it more. Karl finds it absolutely hilarious and even encourages him. so now karl will be like put OH shit on the phone so i can talk to him. because not only does he say shit . but he loves to say OH SHIT as well . it is funny i'd be lying if i said it wasn't. :) and i'm probably partly responsible because i have a mouth like a drunken whore in a titty bar. so it's really made me take a look at my choice of words when i'm around him. and emily.
well i'm off to spend time with my man. he deserves it . after all i should be greatfull he is patient enough to put up with me and loves me even when i'm psychotic. hahah
oh and i lost 23lbs last month. yeah!!
night
xoxoxo

attack of the panic

2007-05-20T14:20:03Z

i'm in this stage right now of my beautifully fucked up chemicalness where i feel alone. i hate when i get in this stage. because no matter who i talk to i still feel like shit. my dad talks to me but he always states the obvious. karl is not sympathetic. all my friends just tell me what i want to hear. lisa is the only person who makes me feel better. she is the only one who gives me the godawfull truth no matter how horrible it is. i can always count on that. i love her for this.
i'm sure this entry seams a little like one big run on sentance. i'm not even sure that i'm expressing exactly how i feel.
i feel like my relationship is in the shits. (it's not) i feel like a fat obese cow(i'm not) i feel like i'm not good enough for anyone(so not the case) i feel like i want to run away and never look back(cant because of my kids) this is what it's like for me when my depression kicks in. i start to feel like i'm living on the outside of my life. like no one cares about me. i get sad and depressed. and all i want is to numb these feelings. god i wish i had some vallum or a vic. something something to make me not give a fuck. this is why is started doing drugs in the first place. instantly i didn't feel so alone. and so sad. i felt numb and i didn't give a fuck about the world around me. of course those feelings come back once the drug has escaped the system. but then there is always a back up. alcohol really dosn't do the hole numbing thing for me. but drugs. man i miss drugs right now. dosnt mean i'm going to start doing them again. i've been clean for so long. and i love my babies to much to be a shit head drug addict. but that dosn't mean i'm not alowed to miss them. to miss the feeling of escaping my body without taking a step.
i would love to pop 2 or 3 750's and lay back and feel my hole body just go limp . giggle when nothings funny but just because i feel so distant from my sadness. almost like an instant fuck the world!! i miss that feeling. i miss X. not for the amazing sex. for the amazing pleasure it brought all over my body. for the way it made me love my entire existance. i miss shrooms because well...well they are fukkin great.
i'm tired i havn't been getting that much sleep. i'm going to drive up to akron today and go to alladins. and sit in highland square and drink tea and read a book maybe take my laptop. and just be. be by myself. alone me and the mind that races . free of substance. wanting substance. and knowing that in the end i'm stuck with me.

previously recorded

2007-05-14T17:02:24Z

mothers day was great. haha. karl woke me up with a mothers day song he wrote for me. i told him that i didn't want him to buy me anything instead i wanted something from the heart. hahaha so he writes me this mothers day song. i cant even remember the words but it was hilarious.
we had brunch at rani's and then me and sandy went to see the movie Georgia Rule. it was not that it was a bad movie. it was that i really think lindsey lohan is a talentless cracked out whore.
i had 2 outbursts yesterday. i have no idea why. i was just running a rampage screaming my head off. i was pissed at everyone. but they only lasted like 10 mins. and then i was nice amanda again. i really hate the feeling i get when i am so filled with rage. i try to be carefull to yell at everyone but the kids. it takes extra effort. because kids are extra irritating. buttt it's not their fault. they're kids they're supposed to drive you crazy.
well i know were they stem from. they stem from feeling like i have a gazzilion and one things to do in a short time. everyone is pulling at me from 3434 different directions and i feel like i cant get enough done.
i need a vacation. for a month
hahha
off to work! i hope everyone has a great day!

my so called life

2007-05-06T06:38:20Z

i havn't posted in awhile. not because nothing is going on. mostly because i've been non motivated. i do however like reading everyone elses entries .so thanks for keeping them updated . they give me something to do . other then watch karl play his stupid game!!! haha
so i'm gonna make a list because i'm not motivated to write about everything. haha so so sad!!
there are really in no paticular order sorry not motivated for that either:)

*drama drama witht the babysitters drunk mother. total cunt. her daughter called me crying about how horrible things are at home and i feel terrible for her. but because her mom is psycho i cant have her over here anymore..i'm not dealing with that crazy shit.

*i kissed to sisters in one night. haha (they know who they are) 2 of the funnest girls i've ever met!!

* me and kayla made 2 road trips to columbus. some would say pointless roadtrips but i had a blast. listening to loud fun corny music. seeing how many semi's we could get to honk. and possibly coming into contact with some of the most fashionably retarded people we've ever seen. columbus natives have some serious closet issues!! hahaha although the mcr concert was canceled twice on us. and eventually they got smart enough and canceled it until further notice . i have lost all faith that they are actually a band and have live shows. haha jk. i hope they dont die and go back to their pampered manions with all their hot hoes and not even worry that they caused broke ppl to spend their money on their lack of eating non contaminated foods!!!! i hope you get the house in the divorce kayla!!!! we'll sell it for clothes to wardrobe columbus ppl who dress up as lebricons and ride bikes!! hahhahha

* i lost 5 more inches and 6 more lbs. i'm so hungry right now. not because i starve myself...because i'm lacking motivation to eat. i'm exhausted. kaidens been getting me up 7. little adorable shit that one!!

*gavin turned 3..i cant believe how much he's grown in 2 years. i remember when i first met him and me and karl got him tad. and a balloon and he walked around the living room playing with that balloon for hours. awwww...kayla he's precious.

*sorry to everyone who missed the kayla and amanda show. but atleast we show up for our performances!!!

*i'm going to akron idol this week!! i think steph will win!

*i love love love love love my job! wont say where i work because i dont want to be stalked by some livejournal creapo!

*my sister moved back to ohio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*i miss timmy so much it hurts. and i think it's a reason i've been suffering from some depresion lately. i used to fix all his problems and now i cant and that makes me miserable and him happier because he's doing things for himself. but whatever i like being a fixer( is that even a word?)haha

*i didn't go to colorado:( everyone canceled on me and besides i didn't really have the money to go. :( i'm homesick!!

*aunt flow is visting .what a fukkin cunt cant wait till that aunt dies!!
oh speaking of dead aunts

*my great aunt died today. but i really didn't know her that well. and i think my grandma is getting a ton of money cause she was awful chipper today. although she really dosn't need it . because she acts like she's so broke because she only has a couple hundred thousand dollars left out of like 2.5 million she got when my useless fukking peace of shit grandpa died. but whatever

*i have to get my teeth cleaned on monday. yay for me!! i love the dentist..NOTTTT!

*mothers day is coming up and all i want is for my kids to let me sleep!!

*ed mcMan lost my address! fukker!!!

*i'm going to sleep
xoxoxox
peace

gagmakes barfing sound

2007-04-27T21:12:59Z

sorry i didn't call or come over this morning kayla..it's 5 and i just got out of bed. i'm so hungover i want to ralf but my body just wants me to be miserable and hold it in!..ughhhhh...
i did however have a great ass fukkin time last night!!
i'll def. being going again next week!!
<3

orange pee

2007-04-24T19:03:16Z

i went to the dr. today..she put me on 3 different meds for my bladder infection. i guess it was alot worse then i thought. apparantly one of the meds is going to turn my pee a bright orange. you know orange is my favorite color..haha
it's absolutely beautifull outside today. i've spent most of my day outside. i'm just in for a bit while kaiden takes a nap. and to do some much needed cleaning. mainly dishes..eww..i hate dishes
i cheated my diet today:( i had pizza..and last night i had rice and i didn't work out..so tonight i must work out! i feel fat today...so cheating dosn't help the feeling. i wish i didn't have to struggle with this. i hate summer!!!! i hate having to wear less clothes and not feeling cute in them. my dr. is prescribing me a diet pill and a water pill which i'm quite thrilled about. last time my dr. prescribed me this diet pill i lost over 50 lbs. in 6 months. thats all ihave left to lose and i'll be exstatic.
back to the beautifull day. i hope all of you get to enjoy it!!

ahhhhhhh screams

2007-04-24T12:28:08Z

my gina is broke....i have a blatter infection and it is killing me!! it's the first one i've ever had and it hurts soooooo bad!!!!
i'm gonna get it fixed today.
i am

cha ching!

2007-04-23T02:24:52Z

i had such an amazing weekend with karl. we ended up in erie pa. we went to the casino and we had such a blast!! i was having such amazing luck till karl touched my machine and then it was downhill from there.!..ahha i'm really not in much of a mood to write tonight. just thought i would let everyone know where we ended up!
hope everyone had a good weekend!!
xoxoxo

ding dong the bad seed is gone!!

2007-04-19T02:18:28Z

i'm so relieved sangina is gone!! america finally got it right..i didn't agree with blake being in the bottom 3 it should have been chris..however chris is from virgina and he mentioned something about the masacre at the end of his performance and shed some tears..and i think that was a smart descision on his part..although i do feel that it was heartfelt and i feel bad because i guess he knew some of the people that were murdered. that is just such a sad cituation. those people were going about their lives like any other person and were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. and it should make everyone realize just how precious and valuable our lives are. i'm so saddened for those families. i cant imagine the amount of saddness and emptiness they are feeling right now. i just want everyone to know how much i love you. how i appreciate our friendships and our relationships and if anything should happen to me i want you to remember that no matter what ...if we're in a tiff at the moment. if we havn't hung out in awhile . if we havn't spoke in some time..that no matter what i love you . and we're in eachothers life for a reason.
you know as we get older and our lives become more chaotic it's really hard to make as much time as we would like for our friends. we have work and kids and boyfriends, and girlfriends,and family functions and school activities. some of us are working multiple jobs. and even though i may not see some of you on a regular basis the times we spend getting together. having lunch, going shopping, walking in the park, dancing all night and doing shots at the bars. talking out our dingbat boyfriends who we love ,whatever it is we're doing i'm glad that i share those times with you guys!!!
i just felt that in memory of the people who maybe have a friend that is feeling like they didn't get to say goodbye, or maybe they were in some petty arguement at the time, or maybe their lives got so busy they didn't get to see or talk to eachother that much. i would let all of you know that inspite of all those things if i exit this precious existance at any point none of those things would matter and i would want you to know number one ...i aint got nuthin but love for ya!!:)
xoxoxoxoxo

pooped

2007-04-17T14:46:14Z

it's not that i dont have anything interesting to say..i just havn't felt like writing. but i have been on reading everyone elses entries and with the exception of steph those have died down as well...
karl had an episode on sunday ..he was mouthing some shit about the fact that we are in a relationship and that i never come to him to help in making descisions..and blah blah blah..mostly i say that because his mouth was moving but all i heard was wah wah wah wah ...he is hysterical becuase he is always telling me " i dont care what we do ..you plan it..i'll be there" or if anyone asks him about something he tells them that he has to check with me first...he has always relied on me to make all the plans..and now what 2 years later ..all of a sudden he wants an opinion..he cracks me up..i love him but he needs a nod in the jugular...haha we are fine he yelled at me i got sad (pretended). and i got quite an amazing foot massage. boys!!! fucking boys!! hahaha
tomorrow is his birthday and i got him 4 amazing impossible movies to find...he is such an ass..he finds himself so amuzing i find him a pain in my ass..he says" all i want for our anniversary are these 4 movies..but they are basically impossible to find...jeez thanks...next time i want a gift i'm gonna tell him i want this blue shirt made by i dunno some brand..but it was 2 seasons ago..find it!!
so anyways i found them because i have skills...but still...
you know this is what i love about the hole gift card thing. you give them money , they buy exactly what they want. and everyone is happy.
but noooooooo karl can never be that easy. ugh why do i love him..but oh i do hahahah

so baby if you read this..which i know you do from time to time..happy birthday. i love you . and enjoy your movies!!! and next year your getting a best buy gc!!
<3

the day from hell!!!

2007-04-13T12:32:55Z

yesterday was just retched!!
me and karl couldn't get along to save our lives. i had the conversation from hell from sandy. and then i went to work...and all was well with the world again. who wouldn't love playing with dildo's and vibes all night and talking about sex with perfect strangers!! definetly is an intrusting job to say the least. and the ppl i work with are amazing!!
the night ended well...i came home and karl came outside and talked with me. and apologized for the way he had acted. and apologized for his mom. and said that he had told her she cant talk to me like that. i guess she felt she was to harsh and felt bad but i'm just sick of her shit.
we came inside and joked and talked and i told him that i wasn't going to stand for some of the things he said to me.(they weren't mean, they were just typical things karl says before he speaks.) and he said he was sorry. and we moved on. no point in continuing to argue over petty things. right? right!
plus i can never stay mad at him. he has this affect over me. plus when i rolled over this morning to stretch he planted the cutest little kiss on me. it's those little things that get me everytime.
so today it's work , then i'm picking up gavin. then tonight me and karl are going for martini's at the martini lounge. and to dinner in akron. and then home.
k off to play with dildo's
hope everyone has a good day!!!
<3

my boys

2007-04-11T15:15:45Z

this morning my heart melted when kaiden started crying and running to karl as he was putting his shoes on..karl hurried up and got them on and picked him up and played with him. and made him laugh. it so sweet the way he is with kaiden. it's just sweet to see guys with thier kids especially when you can see the love they have for them.

since i started my new job i cant really ask for a vacation so i'm postponing my colorado trip:( i'm upset i want to go home so bad..i miss my friends i miss the feeling i get everytime i go home. no place on earth can replace the feeling i get when i go home! sicne we cant go now my freind jeanette is coming here instead. since i might be going to school in pittsuburgh she's going to go with me and check out the school and we're going to do the hole tourist thing since she's never been there.

i'm going to take her to see a couple bands while she's here. and i'm not really sure what else. of course take her to highland square. and cleveland. possibly columbus.i'm not quite sure of the hole agenda yet. but i know she is also dissapointed that we're not going. so i have to make it as fun as possible

i'm excited to get out of town for the weekend of karls birthday. we're not disclosing our info to anyone and we're just getting away!!!

easter

2007-04-09T02:31:44Z

i slept in until 10:30 ..which is umm..about 3 p.m mom time!!! so that was lovely!!
then i went to my dads and had brunch . then went to my moms and played online slot machines and had some awesome drinks!!! and just chilaxed. and then came home and worked out and now i'm doing nothing . kaiden is asleep. karl is at the movies. jens should be here in a bit. but basically i'm not getting off the couch.

today was pretty great. except aunt flow came to visit. and she is my least favorite aunt and i wish she would die!!! thanks for the backache aunt fukkin floooww!!!
:)

the day before easter

2007-04-08T00:59:08Z

today was a pretty descent day. I miss emily she's with her dad and i miss her terribly!! i went to kareokee last night with my siss...it was fun . the crowd was dull..but of course i rocked it. i got a little drunk and even made some comment about being dissapointed in the song selection because everyone was poisoning my ears with all "this emo shit" you know i was drunk..hahah
so like i said today was good..i woke up at 8 had sex twice before 11. you know its a good morning when you fill every hole before lunch.
we went to luci's for karls family thing today. it was chaotic and crazy as usual. but nice that we only had one child and everyone else had a gazillion. we colored eggs . mine are so much prettier then karls. haha his are so ugly..oh he grabbed one and he scribbled all over it and he said that it was an expression of his anger..haha
amii was there and i didn't say a word to her.
i was serious when i said that i gave up on her. no matter how hard i try i can not seam to help that girl achieve a higher level of common sense and i'm exhausted from trying. when she pissed me off 2 weeks ago i told her i wouldn't be hanging out with her anymore. and seriously i just cant and dont have the energy to teach that girl about things she should have learned by the age of 6.
i'm tired. i wanted to go out but everyone was such a party pooper tonight.
tomorrow is easter at my moms. and it will be nice again to just relax not have to chase kids around and just eat and be peacefull.
i got an early anniversary present today . karl got me some new shirts. and they are uber cute. i love my job at ambiance.. nothing better then talking about sex allll day!!!!
i hope everyone has a nice easter. filled with lots of chocolate and ham!!! not exactly in that order:)

hipocrits and bad spellers

2007-04-05T15:46:07Z

I'm going to pick on someone for a moment that i actually dearly like and respect. sorry stephanie.
i know that alot of people think it's no big deal that i get heated over this hole american idol ordeal. and it is i'll admitt nothing really to get worked up all over. but i think it's more to do with common respect for the individuals who are avid watchers. I personally am not the type of person who cares what people think about me . or how i choose to spend my tuesday and wednesday night. what i care about is people who are trying to ruin my evening based on the fact that they think american idol is a popularity contest full of talent lacking individuals who are just using it to break into the music industry the "easy" way. There is no easy way to break into the industry no matter which direction you try to take. sure it might open doors for you that weren't so easily accesible. but soo what. who hasn't heard the phrasse "it's not who you know, it's who you blow" who hasn't used these tools in your everyday life. such as getting a job because a friend of family member can get you in. or using someones employee discount at a store you shop at. or getting in the movies free because your neighbor is a manager. or getting out of ticket because you have big boobs. Or getting into a show free because you get to know the band.

life no matter how much you try to fight it. is pretty much one big popularity contest. everyone sometime in their life has based an opinion on someones look. someones atire. someones lifestyle. someones weight.
i'm no exception. you (everyone) are no exception.

basically if you dont like american idol and what it stands for TURN THE FUKKIN THE CHANNEL. AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!

i'm certainly not going to find something your enjoy and try to ruin it based on the fact that i think it sucks...trust me i could come up with a list of things and entertainers that i find thouroughly annoying and wish would go away!!! i simply just dont go see their movies. watch their t.v shows or buy their cd's.

thanks for listening to me bitch..even if it dosnt matter

uggggg!!!!

2007-03-29T16:20:49Z

kaidens not throwing up anymore!! good sign...but he has diareah real bad and i called his dr. today and he's still contagious..which means that i can get sick!! and i swear i'm going to get fired if i dont go to work...karl had to call off yesterday because he was sick..and emily was up all night last night complaining of her stomach hurting and now she has diareah!!! uuughhhhh...i swear ..so there's this girl that offered to watch them..i warned her of the flu going around my house and she said she didn't mind...she wants to stay home from school...i know it's bad but i was just like okay...cause i need to go to work and get out of this house.
it's pretty bad when my dad wont even come over because he's afraid to get sick.
i need a break!! last night i got woken up from kaiden crying because he shit all over his bed all over himself . nothing like waking up at 3 in the morning to diareah all over the place.
there's a little girl in emilys class who hasn't been to school all week..because she is sick with the same thing. they admitted her into the hospital last night. for dehydration. and emily was playing with her last saturday at a birthday party and the nurse sent a letter home with the kids stating that over 50 kids were absent this week with this flu...GREAT!!!!
you seriously have no idea ...what its like to be constantly thrown up on and constantly shit on. until you have sick kids...and it dosnt last like 24 hours it lasts like a week!! GREAT!
I'M GONNA LOSE MY MIND IF EMILY GETS SICK TOOOOOO
so yeah i'm irritated!!!!
but i'm sure all of you can understand why
and stay away from my kids...they're deadly...hahahaha